I have had quite a few bitter-sweet moments over the past couple of days while researching and following information on NIAW: National Infertility Awareness Week. It saddens me that more people are not aware that this even exists- although up until very recently I was one of the many people oblivious to it too. I find it very ironic considering that around this same time last year Husband and I made the very difficult decision of seeking fertility treatment with a specialist. At that time I had no idea how greatly our lives would be changed by infertility, I had not started my blog as an outlet for our frustrations, and I certainly did not imagine I would still be sitting here searching for a way to add to our family.
For those of you who are new to my blog (or those that wish to hear more details on our journey) here is a recap of what Husband and I have endured during our struggle with infertility:
Husband and I were married in September 2009 and almost immediately began trying to add to our family (we had dated for 5 years before marriage so we were already desperate for a little one). After 2-3 months of no luck and no positive ovulation tests, I requested to have a consultation with my doctor and asked that some tests be run (I had some suspicions that things may not be "alright"). I will say this over and over: I am VERY LUCKY my doctor was willing to test me so early- most doctors will not take the time to go through everything until at least 6 months of TTC. After another 3 months of bloodwork, ultrasounds, and other tests, I was officially diagnosed with PCOS- polycystic ovarian syndrome. At this time my doctor felt she was no longer able to help us and strongly urged that we seek the care of a specialist. This was in April 2010- probably around the same week of NIAW :)
We researched doctors in our area and quickly found an Infertility Center and doctor that we felt would be right for us. Over the course of the last year we have tried Clomid, Follistim injections, and have struggled through 3 failed IUI cycles. In January of this year, our doctor decided that it would be too risky to continue moving forward with these treatments (for several reasons) and we learned that IVF would likely be our best option moving forward.
Now, several months later, Husband and I have still not realized our dream of expanding our family. We are very hesitant to move forward with IVF, for various reasons, and have decided to learn how to be happy with just the two of us for now. The past 1 1/2 years have been such an emotional rollercoaster and have taken such a toll on the both of us. We realized that we were going through each day hoping for some kind of answer to the question "why us?" and were worried that we were headed down the wrong path emotionally.
We are still very much hopeful that we will have Baby Hill soon and still plan on moving forward with IVF sometime within the next year. BUT for now, we have had to learn how to appreciate what we do have in each other and how to enjoy what we do have already. Is it still hard? YES! Do I still have days where I just break down and cry? YES! But I have learned to not have those days everyday and that there is still plenty to be happy about around me.
Reading information and seeing segments on the news about things like NIAW have been such a big help for me. I love knowing I am not alone-- according to research there are over 7 million people struggling with infertility. More and more research is being conducted everyday and awareness of this very difficult "disease" (as it is now being called) continues to grow. As hard as it may be to talk about at times, I love being able to help spread awareness and share our story to others! Now, if only we could find our happy ending :)
To learn more on NIAW and Infertility go here: NIAW