What an Inspirational Woman.......

I can honestly say I got goosebumps when I heard the following story:

Giuliana Rancic Reveals Battle With Breast Cancer

During everything Husband and I have endured in the past 2 years, I have constantly looked up to Giuliana for the way she handled her own struggles with such dignity and was so open about all of her feelings. She made it ok to talk about infertility and helped spread awareness to so many.

I am a strong believer in the saying "things happen for a reason" and I know God always has a plan, but sometime you are just left wondering WHY?

Our Return

First of all, I cannot express to you how nice it is to be back in the blogging community (once again)! I have enjoyed waking up in the morning and catching up on what so many of you have been up to over the past couple of months! I am just as excited to share what we have been doing (or not doing) as well and hope to have lots of pictures from our trip to Europe up soon.

I wish I could say I am returning to blogging on the best of terms (with Baby Hill on the way), but sadly that is not the case. Husband and I have been doing great the past couple of months- taking time to travel, spending lots of time with family and friends, and focusing on our careers and other goals. I have been wanting to blog these past couple of months, but I honestly have not had the time- and I worried what I would even blog about: we are no longer seeking fertility treatments, we have put a hold on in-vitro, and for a while I even had to stop thinking of babies all together to just enjoy our summer.

But a lot of that changed recently when Husband and I were faced with our greatest test yet: a VERY close family member is expecting a baby. Out of respect to our family, I will be keeping the name, relationship, details, etc out of my posts- BUT since this a blog I created to express our frustrations and difficulty while trying to conceive I think its only fair for me to be able to express my frustrations here (if I cant do it here, where can I??) Husband and I were completely shocked when we learned the news and it is still very new and hurtful to us. We are very grateful for this new life in our family, but have no idea how we will handle all the excitement and happiness that will be around us. What will this upcoming holiday season be like? How will we attend family functions with a smile on our face? Is it wrong for us to ask for space from our family members while we process the news? How do we ask for sensitivity from our family members during this difficult time?

I quickly realized how much I cherish the relationships I have made with so many of you through blogging and how helpful it is to have the support of others around you. Husband and I feel like at this time we are unable to talk to any of our family about our feelings so we have been forced to turn to friends and peers for advice. I know we are not the first infertile couple to struggle with this type of situation and I would love advice from any of you who have been through similar experiences. What worked for you and how did you overcome any feelings of anger, hurt, frustration?

As always, thank you to all of you who have expressed support and encouragement to both Husband and I. We have learned to take these difficult situations 1 step at a time and know that during these hard times our relationships with others and with each other grow stronger.

Tears and Hope

For those of you who are still struggling (or have struggled), I recently found this video that has helped me through some hard times:

Tears and Hope- Empty Arms

The video is a bit slow but it puts into words how so many people feel. Its always nice to know you are not alone :)

**More to come on my return to blogging--thank you so much for all the recent emails, they really helped push me to return! :)

Skinnygirl!

NORMALLY, I am not the type to obsess over a celebrity and do crazy things for them........BUT I definitely broke out of my shell Friday by waiting for 2 hours outside in freezing cold rain for a chance to meet Bethenny Frankel!

Yep, she came to Dallas on Friday to stop at several liquor stores and sign bottles of her famous Skinnygirl Margaritas. One of her last stops for the day was a store in Addison, which is where I, along with 1000 other people, camped out for a chance to see her. I went with one of my besties and neither one of us were prepared for the thundestorm that rolled through as we waited outside of the store. We must have been such a sore sight to see as we huddled underneath 1 umbrella together while we sat DRIPPING with rain! :) It was definitely an experience.

After my 2 hour wait, I was finally able to get into the store (soaking clothes and all) and finally was able to meet Bethenny while she signed my bottle. Her security had everyone moving so quickly through the store that you basically only got a chance to say hi, then have a photographer take a quick picture, before you were escorted out. The pictures the photographer took are supposedly going to be uploaded to Facebook, but so far they have not been posted :( Either way it was totally worth it--especially now that I have my signed bottle proudly displayed in my kitchen!

NIAW and a Recap of Our Story

I have had quite a few bitter-sweet moments over the past couple of days while researching and following information on NIAW: National Infertility Awareness Week. It saddens me that more people are not aware that this even exists- although up until very recently I was one of the many people oblivious to it too. I find it very ironic considering that around this same time last year Husband and I made the very difficult decision of seeking fertility treatment with a specialist. At that time I had no idea how greatly our lives would be changed by infertility, I had not started my blog as an outlet for our frustrations, and I certainly did not imagine I would still be sitting here searching for a way to add to our family.

For those of you who are new to my blog (or those that wish to hear more details on our journey) here is a recap of what Husband and I have endured during our struggle with infertility:

Husband and I were married in September 2009 and almost immediately began trying to add to our family (we had dated for 5 years before marriage so we were already desperate for a little one). After 2-3 months of no luck and no positive ovulation tests, I requested to have a consultation with my doctor and asked that some tests be run (I had some suspicions that things may not be "alright"). I will say this over and over: I am VERY LUCKY my doctor was willing to test me so early- most doctors will not take the time to go through everything until at least 6 months of TTC. After another 3 months of bloodwork, ultrasounds, and other tests, I was officially diagnosed with PCOS- polycystic ovarian syndrome. At this time my doctor felt she was no longer able to help us and strongly urged that we seek the care of a specialist. This was in April 2010- probably around the same week of NIAW :)

We researched doctors in our area and quickly found an Infertility Center and doctor that we felt would be right for us. Over the course of the last year we have tried Clomid, Follistim injections, and have struggled through 3 failed IUI cycles. In January of this year, our doctor decided that it would be too risky to continue moving forward with these treatments (for several reasons) and we learned that IVF would likely be our best option moving forward.

Now, several months later, Husband and I have still not realized our dream of expanding our family. We are very hesitant to move forward with IVF, for various reasons, and have decided to learn how to be happy with just the two of us for now. The past 1 1/2 years have been such an emotional rollercoaster and have taken such a toll on the both of us. We realized that we were going through each day hoping for some kind of answer to the question "why us?" and were worried that we were headed down the wrong path emotionally.

We are still very much hopeful that we will have Baby Hill soon and still plan on moving forward with IVF sometime within the next year. BUT for now, we have had to learn how to appreciate what we do have in each other and how to enjoy what we do have already. Is it still hard? YES! Do I still have days where I just break down and cry? YES! But I have learned to not have those days everyday and that there is still plenty to be happy about around me.

Reading information and seeing segments on the news about things like NIAW have been such a big help for me. I love knowing I am not alone-- according to research there are over 7 million people struggling with infertility. More and more research is being conducted everyday and awareness of this very difficult "disease" (as it is now being called) continues to grow. As hard as it may be to talk about at times, I love being able to help spread awareness and share our story to others! Now, if only we could find our happy ending :)

To learn more on NIAW and Infertility go here: NIAW

Happy (LATE) Easter!

Before eating their dessert:

After eating their dessert (with chocolate all over their faces!):

........and much more on our hectic life coming Wednesday! Hope everyone enjoyed their holiday weekend :)

Top 2 Tuesday

This week's topic is a fun one: Top 2 Drinks! I actually chose to go the non-alcoholic way since I drink these on a more frequent basis :)

1) Iced Tea-Im pretty "plain jane" when it comes to my tea- no fancy flavors for me, just give me some basic Lipton! And in case you guys dont already think Im weird from some things you have heard in the past.........I hate sweet tea, but cant drink tea without sugar in it! I know, you are probably confused but: I have to be the one to put the sugar in and I let it sit at the bottom and drink it with a straw so I get a couple of crystals of sugar with each sip :) Yep, Im weird- but I promise its soooo good! 2) Caramel Frappuccino- this would really just say "anything Starbucks", but I guess that would be cheating so this is my favorite drink of theirs :) go to Taylors blog to play along :)