Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Our Return

First of all, I cannot express to you how nice it is to be back in the blogging community (once again)! I have enjoyed waking up in the morning and catching up on what so many of you have been up to over the past couple of months! I am just as excited to share what we have been doing (or not doing) as well and hope to have lots of pictures from our trip to Europe up soon.

I wish I could say I am returning to blogging on the best of terms (with Baby Hill on the way), but sadly that is not the case. Husband and I have been doing great the past couple of months- taking time to travel, spending lots of time with family and friends, and focusing on our careers and other goals. I have been wanting to blog these past couple of months, but I honestly have not had the time- and I worried what I would even blog about: we are no longer seeking fertility treatments, we have put a hold on in-vitro, and for a while I even had to stop thinking of babies all together to just enjoy our summer.

But a lot of that changed recently when Husband and I were faced with our greatest test yet: a VERY close family member is expecting a baby. Out of respect to our family, I will be keeping the name, relationship, details, etc out of my posts- BUT since this a blog I created to express our frustrations and difficulty while trying to conceive I think its only fair for me to be able to express my frustrations here (if I cant do it here, where can I??) Husband and I were completely shocked when we learned the news and it is still very new and hurtful to us. We are very grateful for this new life in our family, but have no idea how we will handle all the excitement and happiness that will be around us. What will this upcoming holiday season be like? How will we attend family functions with a smile on our face? Is it wrong for us to ask for space from our family members while we process the news? How do we ask for sensitivity from our family members during this difficult time?

I quickly realized how much I cherish the relationships I have made with so many of you through blogging and how helpful it is to have the support of others around you. Husband and I feel like at this time we are unable to talk to any of our family about our feelings so we have been forced to turn to friends and peers for advice. I know we are not the first infertile couple to struggle with this type of situation and I would love advice from any of you who have been through similar experiences. What worked for you and how did you overcome any feelings of anger, hurt, frustration?

As always, thank you to all of you who have expressed support and encouragement to both Husband and I. We have learned to take these difficult situations 1 step at a time and know that during these hard times our relationships with others and with each other grow stronger.

13 comments:

Jenn said...

I have read your blog for a while, but this is my first time commenting. First let me say I am so sorry you have to deal with this situation. I wish I had words of wisdom, but I don't. My husband and I have been dealing with IF for 1.5 years, and back in Jan. both my cousins got pregnant. I have not dealt with it well. It hurts, it sucks, and it's painful. Especially to watch them go back and forth about their pregnancies. I'm looking forward to the advice others give you, as I could use some right now.

I will keep you in my prayers during this time. I hope you find a way to cope that works for you and your Husband.

J and A said...

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through that. I can only imagine how hard that must be. I do feel your pain. So glad you can vent on your blog and I think it is totally responable to need space and time to figure out your feelings around that. Hugs to you!

J and A said...

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through that. I can only imagine how hard that must be. I do feel your pain. So glad you can vent on your blog and I think it is totally responable to need space and time to figure out your feelings around that. Hugs to you!

Lynnc said...

I think the best way to handle it is to be upfront about how hard their happiness is for you to be around. That's totally understandable and it alleviates the "elephant in the room". My best friend is pregnant and I have a hard time hearing about it from her while we are struggling. I wish I could take my own advice and explain to her how hurtful it is to me to hear about shower invitations and how difficult it is getting for her to get out of bed, but I'm too chicken. It's always easier said than done, huh? Hang in there!

Neely said...

You know my heart breaks for you Caitrin. Im always here if you want to talk.

Amber said...

I'm so glad you're back to blogging and you had a fab time on your cruise. I'm still jealous by the way. ;) Ditto to what Neely said, I'm here if you need to chat! Good things will come yalls way.. you're too of a person for it not to! <3

A Babbling Brunette said...

I'm so happy you are back to blogging! I'm also praying for you and your husband. I cannot say that I know how you feel but I do pray that your prayers are answered. We are all here for you!!

Life With Lauren said...

Hi I'm a new follower I found you through Ashleys blog. First off I just want to say I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. My husband and I have now been dealing with not being able to have a family and it has been 7 years. I don't know or understand why this happens to people who want a family and others who don't get one. I will be saying a prayer for you and your husband we have had to deal with the same thing over the years.

Leah said...

Welcome back to blogging. While I haven't shared what I went through on my blog, I've build many relationships with others who share my experiences through blogging. My day to day talks with these girls who "just get it" are what keep me sane and give me strength. I can completely relate to what you're going through right now, I'm going to send you a personal email with how I am choosing to handle it. Sending prayers to you.

Kiley said...

I'm so glad you're back to blogging! And I can't wait to see ya this weekend with the girls!

I can't even imagine how difficult this must be for y'all right now...I hope you know we are here for you if you ever need to talk!

<3 <3

Meredith said...

Praying for y'all. So glad to see you back.

Haylee N Davis said...

Love ya, Chica.

Mrs. C said...

I can say I know how you feel. I am the oldest of three and both sisters became pregnant before I did. Somehow, when they called with the news, I kept it together enough to say congratulations and that I loved them. Once the phone call ended, my world came crashing down. I will say though that with time and distance, I truly was able to separate my disappointment with our situation from the joyous news my sisters had shared. I love them and would never want to take away from their experience (and I don't want anyone to take away from mine).

It's OK to give yourself space and holidays will be hard - so I'd suggest scheduling time for you and Husband to easily take a break from the huh-bub once in a while. Joke and vent while you are out - it helps to get it out before returning to the party.

Your time will come - your family will come. Like you said, God has a plan for each of us. Hang in there!!